Speakin' of in the mouth...
How I Spent My Summer: Day one.
Arrived at NAIA Airport at 5:30 AM on Monday, April 2.  (1:30 PM on Sunday, here).
Rode home from the airport in Nanding's taxi.  (Eldest sister Remy's husband.)
Met Nanay and Tatay (Mom an' Dad).  Met the five brothers and the three sisters.  The youngest, Marie Ann, is 14.  Just starting high school and cute as a bug.  A younger and slightly taller version of My Sweet Girl, Tina.  I found out later that she has a crush on me.  I guess that's the little sister's job...LOL!  I also found out that Nanay thinks I am quite guapo and pogi  (handsome and good-looking).  I suggested that she get herself to an eye-doctor asap.  Also learned later that big brother's wife wanted to bite me.  (Didn't go there!)
One of the first things that Sweet Tina asked me was:  "Do you eat with your hands?"  I said, puzzled:  "Not usually; unless it's fried chicken or pizza."  Later, I found out that Tatay and the brothers don't use knives or forks or anything.  They just get a plateful of stuff and grab a handful and stuff it in their food hole.  The girls and I always used a fork and a tablespoon.  Near as I can figger, the fork is only to push stuff onto the spoon.  Interesting.
Second thing she asked was:  "You like poik?"  I said I don't know.  What is it?  She said:  "It's poik.  You like it?"  After a while, she said:  "You like chicken?  You like beef?  You like poik?"  Cracked me way up.  I said:  "Yeah, I like poik."  Later, we went to Makati and walked through the pike together.
On the way back from the airport, we stopped at Pizza Hut.  For some reason, they all ate pizza with a fork and lotsa' hot sauce.  (Interesting note:  Pizza Hut's phone number is 911.  LOL!!  Actually it's 911-11-11.)  At home, we had catsup on all meat.  Made from bananas, not tomatoes.  Still red and tastes good.
She told me, that afternoon, that we'd have to share the same bed but I'd hadda' not touch her.  (Silly girl!)  She said:  "Hands off!  Hands off!  I have 5 brothers.  If you touch me, they will kill you."  (Foolish girl!)  I agreed to that.  (And I meant it; but I AM a Boshear.)  When we went to bed, she had a barrier down the middle of the bed consisting of two pillows and a stuffed animal.  (Silly girl!)
We held hands, across the great divide and talked for a while.  Within an hour, we were doing what comes natural...LOL!!
Another funny.  First day faux pas:
When I met one of my 11 new nephews (Joshua, almost a year old), I was playing with him.  Poking him in his fat little tummy and saying:  "Pookie!!  Pookie!!"  Which what I do with babies.  Tina said:  "Don't say that!!"  I kept it up for a little while longer and she said:  "Stop saying that!!"  I found out later that puki (pronounced Pookie) is the tagalog word for pussy.  (An' we ain't talkin' about no kitty cats, here...)
Another first day funny:  You Always Hear What You Want To Hear.
When we were in bed, I distinctly heard My Sweet Girl say:  "Too beeg!!  Too beeg!!"  Made me feel kind proud o' m'self, until I found out she wanted a glass of water.  Tubig (pronounced Too beeg) is the tagalog word for "water".  What she actually said was:  "Gusto ko ng tubig!  Gusto ko ng tubig!"  (I want water!)  So sue me, I'm a man.  And a Boshear...LOL!!
No running water.  Just a water tank, about a thousand liters, on the roof that has to be refilled from a water truck every couple of days for 130 Pesos.  With a garden hose running down to the banyo (bathroom, if you can call it that.)  Big plastic drum, about 100 liters (55-gallonish).  And a smaller bucket, about 5 gallons.  two dippers and a kind of a toilet bowl thingie.  No flush mechanism; just a bowl.  If ya' potty, ya' gotta' dip water and pour it in there until it goes down.  Bathing was interesting.  Just dip water and pour it all over yerself, soap up and rinse the same way.  Same with washing your hair and brushing your teef.  Did have electric lights, though.  Everything is 220V.  Laundry was done in the back yard with the garden hose, a big tub, soap and a scrub board.  Then hang everything out to dry.
Good people, though.
More later...
LoveJay

Well, it is my second day here.
This morning, I was glad to see dogs and cats running around everywhere.  (And they are the same ones I saw yesterday.)  In the Philippines, many people EAT dogs and cats.  But, apparently, not in this neighborhood...
There are cocks everywhere, too.  Seems like everyone owns one.  (No jokes from the peanut gallery, okay?)  There are cock fights all the time.  The guy with the best cock wins...LOL!!  Seriously, cock-fighting is a big sport here.  (They have a lot of it in the US, too, but there it is illegal.)
Sadly, they always eat the loser...
I was sitting outside the front door this morning.  (This would turn out to be a regular activity.  Walang magagawa:  Nothing to do.)  Anyway, while I was sitting out there having a cup of tea and a smoke, this young girl came up to me.  Probably in her late teens, or so.  She said:  "Hello, my name is Sheri.  I want to be your friend."  I said:  "Hello.  I'll be your friend.".  She said:  "Are you American?"  I said:  "Yes, I am."  She said:  "I want to be your friend."  (Now I am beginning to understand.)  After she left, Tina came outside and asked:  "Who was that girl?"  I said:  "I have NO idea."  She said:  "You stay away from her.  And stop displaying your body!!"  Cracked me way up.
Later that morning we went to Sunshine Mall to shop for lunch and dinner.  (We went by tricycle:  A Kawasaki with a covered side car.  There are zillions of those here.  P13 for two people to the Mall.)  There is a hamburger/pizza joint there called Jollibee.  (They're all over the place in Manila.)  Kind of like McDonald's.  There are McDonald's everywhere, too.
In the afternoon, we went to the American Embassy to apply for my Legal Capacity to Marry form.  The people who do that were not there.  They are only there in the morning from 7:30 to 8:30 AM.  We'll have to go there again tomorrow morning.
On the ride to the embassy, I saw a sign that said:  Bawal pumasok:  Do not enter.  I told Tina that she should have worn a sign like that on her bottom last night.  Then, she'd still be "pure"...LOL!!  I'm not sure that she gets the Boshear humor, but she'll learn...
I set my watch to the local time.  Tina told me to set it 7 minutes fast.  She says that is real Filipino time.  (As I understand it, everyone is always late for everything except work.  For those fortunate few who have jobs.  The unemployment rate is probably 90-something percent.)
While we were in the market, I saw a sign that said:  "Please fall in line here".  I was tempted to do it, but it would only have embarrassed My Sweet Girl, so I resisted.
I saw several interesting signs.  One said, simply:  "SIGN".  (??!!)  Another just said:  "NO!"  LOL!!  I saw a sign on a house:  "Never mind about dog.  Owner have gun!!"
This afternoon, while we were walking a few blocks to the local "markets" (open stalls up and down many of the streets), I was on the traffic side and we heard a vechicle coming up behind us.  Sweet Tina grabbed me by the arm and jerked me over to the side and scolded me:  "Get out of danger, You!!!"  She never fails to make me smile.
This evening, Tina gave me a manicure and we shaved off my mustache.  (She doesn't like it.)  My first reaction, when she said she wanted me to shave it off, was:  "Hey!  Hey!  HEY!!  Nobody tells ME what to do with my face!!"  Then, after thinking it over for 3 or 4 seconds, I realized that it's just not important.  (I never look at myself anyway; except when I shave.  Tina's the one who has to look at me.)  It was the first time I had seen my upper lip since 1971.  Interesting to note:  My mustache was 5 years older than my wife, for Crissakes!!  LOL!!
I now look just like Betty.  (YIKES!!)  And I look a lot more like my father than I ever did.  Oh, well.  There are a lot worse things to look like than those two. 
More later...
LoveJay

Well, it's day 3, now.
This morning, Sweet Girl, and I woke up in each other's arms.  (I have been back for almost three days, now, and I still wake up reaching for her.  Ain't I too old to wake up with tears in my eyes?)
We went to the American Embassy again this morning.  WOW!!  The Bureaucratic Bullshit reaches all the way from Washington!!  It took about three hours to accomplish ten minutes worth of crap!!  Hadda' get a notarized paper saying that I am willing and able to get married in the Philippines.  (Affidavit In Lieu Of Certificate Of Legal Capacity To Contract Marriage For American Citizens.)
Today, I met Niza.  A good friend of Tina's.  She is now our Godmother.  A man named Clark (a really nice guy) is our Godfather.  I guess, when you get married in the Philippines, ya' gotta' have both.  (They went with us later to the Civil Ceremony.)  I met Sister Nancy's husband.  (She is the Mommy of Joshua - SO cute - that I had my "Pookie Incident" with on my first day.)  Her husband has not had a job in the seven years that they have been together.  However, they HAVE had 5 children and one due on May 7.  She is WAY pregnant!!  Also, since there is no divorce mechanism in the Philippines, he took a mistress when the Honeymoon was over.  He has 4 children by her.  Mr. Mucho Macho Man, I reckon.
Nancy has worked at Pancake House in Manila.  She is not working now, but she worked there for several years as waitress, hostess, etc.  She gave me a resume to bring back with me.  I'm going to see if I can get her a job a Amazon.com and then, if so, maybe she can get a work visa to come here.
Sweet Tina asked me, today, if I am the jealous type.  Of course, I said no.  Then she said:  "I AM!!  And let me remind you that Lorena Bobbitt was a Filipina!!  If you fool around you'll have to sleep with one of your eyes open!!"  LOL!!  I learned three new words this morning:  Aral (lesson), Batay (dead) and Batayin (kill).  Is there a message there?  LOL!!
Also, this morning, when we were having one of our two daily "sessions", we discussed having our baby.  (We OUGHTTA' have one.  LORD KNOWS we tried...)  She said she wants to have two children.  A boy and a girl.  I asked what she wanted them to be like and she said:  "Black hair, blue eyes, white skin, a long nose - like yours, not a tiny one like mine - and six feet tall."  I said: "What if you have a girl?  Still six feet tall?"  She said:  "Of course!!"
We went to Sunshine Mall again this morning to shop for wedding rings.  At the jewelry store, I could not (of course) afford the things that we really liked.  We got a matched pair that I really like.  (7000 pesos; $140).  Her baby size finger didn't even register on the sizing thingie.  Just hadda' find one that was small enough.  The smallest one was still loose on her Munchkin finger.
I am Tito Jay to 11 nephews.  (NO nieces around.  Maybe Sweet Girl and I can change that.)
Tina asked me if I want to chew tobacco.  (I do NOT!!)
New words for today:
Pamangkin (nephew/niece)
Banyo (bathroom)
Gago (fool)
Busog (full)
Kain (eat)
Mahilig (sex alla' time)
Malibug (getting HOT, now)
Sitaw (green bean)
Manok (chicken)
Baka (beef)
Babuy (pork..or should I say "poik"?  LOL!!)
More later...
LoveJay

The Big Day...
This morning, I woke up with "Unhappy Stomach".  Later, it has turned into serious diarrhea.  I do not plan to see a doctor (even though that is one of the first symptoms of Yellow Fever, Typhoid, Cholera and/or Malaria).  And I DEFINITELY ain't going to any hospital.  (I learned my lesson about that!!)  Only one thing to do:  Git tough or die...
During the night, last night, I woke up and there was a bug the size of Montana (the state, not Joe) crawling along my right arm.  When I could get my heart going again, I threw it across the room.  I discovered the body this morning.  It was a GIANT cockroach!!  EEEWWWWWWWW!!!  Get it OFF me!!!!
I'm very kabado (nervous) about the wedding.  (You'd think I'd be used to it by now...LOL!!)
Sweet Girl went to the market this morning with her sister Nancy.  When she left, she admonished me:  "Don't sit outside and display your body!!"  LOL!!  She must be looking at a different one than I see when I look in the mirror...LOL!!
We had our wedding at the Municipal Building in Pasay.  As I said before, I had tears in these old eyes when I recited my vows.  (Godfather Clark took pictures.  My mascara was prolly a real mess!!)
Later, we had our reception at home.  (By the way, I felt more "at home" there than I have ever felt here over the 20 years we have lived here.)
All the family and many of our (my new) friends were there.
Even later, we had more friends come to visit us with gifts and kind words.  (And plenty of advice, from everyone for me to eat a LOT and be sure to take ALL my vitamins...LOL!!)
We had Kare-Kare, spaghetti with meat sauce and macaroni salad.  Kare-Kare is made with Tualya (ox-tripe), eggplant, green beans, peanut butter and Saging (heart-of-banana).
Anyway, it was a wonderful day.  Certainly the happiest one of my life.
More later...
LoveJay
PS:  Today's news.  This morning, I again woke up and reached for My Sweet Girl.  I will admit that there were tears in my eyes again when I fully awoke and realized that I was still alone (again).  I miss her so much it's like a physical pain.  I have never felt that way before in my life.  Of all the women I have known over the past 60 years (and there have been a lot), I have always had a "take-it-or-leave-it" attitude.  No more.  I am seriously in love.  Apparently, for the first time in my life.  I go from funk to depression all day long for the past 3 or 4 days.  I hope I get over it.  Or, at least, get used to it.
One morning, when I was lying in bed with My Sweet Girl, talking, I accused her jokingly about being a witch and casting a spell on me.  Now I have no doubt that it is true.  I will not be entirely happy, nor will my life be complete again, until I have her here in my arms once again...where she belongs...

By th' way...
On yesterday's report, I forgot to say that we were married at 2:30 PM, which was 10:30 PM, here on April 4th.  Do you remember where you were at that time????
This morning, I woke up with a married woman!!!!  (It's okay.  It was My Sweet Baby - Mrs. Tina M. Boshear.)
That same girl (Sheri), came to the front door this morning.  She said:  "Hello, Jay.  I want to be your friend."  I showed her mine and Tina's wedding rings.  (Of course, Sweet Girl was right there with me when The Girl showed up...LOL!!)  And I told her that "we are married, now".  She said:  "I am married, too." and disappeared.  Never saw her again.
We had an excellent drink all day long.  (Musta' been a sale at the stall...LOL!!)  It was Mango juice, prepared in a blender with ice.  Masarap!!
I have been wearing nothing but sandals and shorts since I got here.  And sitting in front of an oscillating fan as much of the time as possible.  The only time that I have worn shoes or trousers was to go to the American Embassy and to get married.
[It would turn out to be true for the whole time I was there.]
I am having the "time of my life"; literally.
New words for today: 
Dumi (dirt; pronounced do ME).
Madumi (dirty).
More later...
LoveJay

<< Maybe Tina can get over here more
sooner than later. I sure hope so.
Love, Limpy
  >>


Just have her ride one of those damn bugs.

;;
J >>
ROFL!!  ROFL!!  ROFL!!  By Jove, I believe she could.
LoveJay
PS:  On a serious note:  When I went to the INS office this morning, I got the forms for Tina's immigration to the US.  The paperwork I got at the American Embassy in Manila said 9 months to a year.  On just the right conditions I might have been able to do that.  (By having My Sweet Girl come here on a Tourist Visa for six months; somewhere in that time.)  I asked the clerk for a confirmation when I spoke to her today.  She told me that "with everything that's going on, it'll be more like two years."  TWO YEARS!!  Well, I cannot abide that.  Our government (not to mention "Filipino Time") is not known for getting things done in a timely fashion.  So, maybe, it'll take even longer than that.  In the two hours since then, I have decided that IF that is true, I will have to go there for some undetermined length of time.  No choice.  I'll have to.  Permanently, if that's what it takes.  I ain't living without my wife for that long.  Life is precious; and limited.  I'm not going to waste 2 years of it - if not more - just because the government has it's collective head up where the sun don't shine.  I'll just work as much and as hard as I can and, likely, sell whatever I own to get more money.
Simple as that...
LoveJay

<< I hope it doesn't come to that. Even tho I can understand how you feel if it
does. I don't hardly ever get to see you now, but if you were over there,
I'd miss you so much more. Weird, huh?
Love, Limpy >>
Well, you're right.  We don't visit much.  But distance does make it feel more lonely, don't it?  That's why I gotta' go...
LoveJay
PS:  With my PBI (Patented Boshear Ingenuity), I'd be able to make a living; and, likely, a better one than I do here.  There don't seem to be any laws about building or zoning; that I could see.  A man (an American) down on the next corner was adding a third floor to his house to build apartments to rent.  I didn't see any officials of any kind during the whole month.  Nor anything like permits tacked up anywhere.
Tatay (Dad) owns property and I'm sure we could find a way to develop it.  Or I could start Jay's Repair Service.  People were asking me all the time if I could repair this or that.  From washing machines, to TVs, VCRs, tape decks, etc.  I have no idea how people make money, but it is common in hard times.  There is money to be made and very little interference by bureaucrats,  at least as far as I can tell.  I couldn't repair much of anything since I had no tools or a place to work.  But, given those two things, I could prolly do very well...

Jerry:
I hadda' turn th' damn thing back on so I could tell you:
Pursuant to our conversation a little while ago, I DID talk to Honey a few minutes ago.
I had told her, when I talked to her on Thursday night, that I wanted her to get a passport and apply for a Visitor's Visa so she could come here for a visit.  (As I understand it, she could stay for six months on that visa and I'll be damned if I wouldn't find a way for her to stay here - legal or otherwise.)
Anyway, she checked on it.  To get a Visitor's Visa, we'd have to pay them (whoever THEM is) P100,000 ($2000).
Those assholes!!
LoveJay
PS:  I don't know why I was in such a hurry to go to bed.  I have not been able to sleep worth a damn since I got back.  (I've never had that problem either except for a night once or twice a year.)  I guess, when you get tired enough, you'll sleep.
PPS:  She told me that she is pretty sure that she IS pregnant.  (YEE-HAW!!)  We'll know for sure in 2 or 3 days.  Keep yer fingers crossed...

Last night, the power came back on (off about 24 hours).  What a relief!!
This morning, My Sweet Girl started her period.  Hindi bata!!  (No baby!!)  Hindi buntis!!  (Not pregnant...yet!)  I am very sad about that.
Sweet Girl rubs me down several times a day with alcohol.  In fact, it acts like an excellent deodorant.  And it feels really good!
Afternoon snack was boiled bananas (Saging).  Kind of a strange taste; but still tasty.
Also had another excellent drink from the blender.  Made with coconut juice.
Having another wonderful day with My Sweet Wife.  I wish I could stay here forever, but Amazon.com calls... LOL!!
More later...
LoveJay

Day 8: Sun/Mon April 8/9...

This morning, I woke up with that beautiful married woman, again!!  (Sure
hope my wife doesn't find out... LOL!!)
Lunch today:  Rice, vegetable and Manok (Chicken).  Papaya for dessert.
This afternoon and tonight, I felt a small pain in the small of my back; left
side, below my rib cage.  Maybe a kidney infection - maybe a pulled muscle. 
If it's a pulled muscle, it's all Sweet Girl's fault...LOL!!
For dinner we had rice, shrimp and fish with egg, tomato and onion.  Cooked
by My Sweet Wife.  Masarap! (delicious!)
New words for today:
May asawa na ako (I am a husband, now).
Kasal na ako (I am married).
Pakpak (wings).
Pera (money).
Aray!! (ouch!!)
More later...
LoveJay

On page 2, Tina wrote: 4/4/01...
To My Honey:
Always remember that no matter what happens, I'm still be here to love you. I love you so much, Honey. And I terribly miss you. I miss everything on you but you had to wait for the time that we will be together soon...

When I came home this morning, I had another message from My Sweet Girl (at 11:30 PM last night; our anniversary hour).  Of course, I hadda' call her back and tell her how much I truly love her.
I was gonna' call her when I got home this morning, anyway.  So I could tell her to tell Nanay happy Mother's Day from her new son.  She's the only Momma I have now.
And, I am so proud and pleased to report, we are still pregnant.  Her cousin came over last night, looked her over, and pronounced her pregnant.  (No doubt, according to her.)  I hope she knows what she is talking about.
I cannot tell you how wonderful that makes me feel.  There were years (many of them) that I thought I'd never love again.  Then I discovered her.  And I never thought I would be SO excited about a little Jay or Cristal running around.  I am, as they say, stoked!!!!
Love to all...
LoveSickJay